PHASERS ON STUN ???
PHASERS ON STUN ??
The lights of the city of Edinburgh glimmered and glinted over the river estuary called the Firth of Forth.
It was a still, calm night.
At Cruicks point, there is a famous scrap metal yard called Dalton's on land historically donated by Papal Bull from the Pope.
There is also a quarry.
Beyond the mountains of rusting desolation lay the sea and the glimmering lights of Edinburgh.
The sky above though was very disturbing.
Directly above where I stood on the little peninsula was a glowing green canopy of light .. its crown directly and centrally overhead whilst the flanks of this tent billowed with variegated green veins and sheets.
It was like the aurora borealis only it was all green and it was directly overhead.
There is a song in Scotland called 'The Northern Lights of old Aberdeen' but this was not Aberdeen and wasn't that far north.
I now know that this stuff has chased a witness in Gorebridge, Midlothian up the street !! But I didn't know that then.
Well I seemed to be in the ring of a strange circus tent, but who was the ringmaster ??
He's behind you well that's how this pantomime goes doesn't it.
I look behind me and note that standing behind the bushes is an alien about five feet eight tall. Humanoid head, light coloured skin, stockily built, dark eye coverings and wearing a black tunic with shoulder epaulettes.
In front of him was a rectangular black metallic object that looked like a smaller version of the famous 2001 monolith. It was about three feet tall by two feet wide.
It seemed perfectly black although it was bathed in the same green light as the humanoid and the rest of this area.
I looked up again at the sky which was very active and green and seemed to be circling around me.
My inner guidance suggested that I should ignore this guy and he became invisible and I proceeded unharmed and in good time.
I had formed the notion that these black monoliths, originally in Arthur C Clarke's short story 'the sentinel' which was then made into 2001 and its sequel 2010 were somehow part of a cyborg civilisation and that like the movie 'Transformers' they can mutate our domestic technologies.
I wasn't really sure if that story could ever be checked out unless we could find a working example of one.
It may be that these letter box shaped monoliths could be as massive as planets and could upload and strip anything and everything they come across. But this was just a notion.
The thought of my toaster collaborating with the enemy and flying upwards to rendezvous secretly with a cyborg vampire technology was destined hopefully to remain science fiction.
Another day during the afternoon in the same area there was an attempt by some ET's to lift me in broad daylight.
It was at the old Inverkeithing quarry dockyard.
I had just been having a look around that area when I noticed across the old workings and rusted corrugated iron sheets, grass and bushes and swathes of concrete that a young man on a mobile phone was over one hundred yards away.
He was walking in a beeline straight towards me.
There was no common path that we were sharing, we were in no way connected and as he approached I could see a small, slim man in his late twenties or early thirties, black hair, middle class clothing such as expensive fleece which appeared to change colour in the light.
He was on his phone and he just kept walking directly at me on a collision course and if he continued beyond where I stood, he would be in the water over the old dockside.
The only landmark he could be navigating towards over here, in this area was me.
I watched him approach and as he came into hearing range I could hear that he was engaged in a dialogue with some other party and that the content of his conversation mirrored the descriptions that I was feeling about the quality of the day.
The sky was blue, the sea looks good, there are gulls in the air, nice day etc in fact I couldn't have said it better myself.
It was as if he was reading my surface thoughts and sending the triangulation data about my reality to some strange person somewhere.
He walked right up to me and stood face to face with me one foot from my chest. He stopped and then said 'Now !!'
Then the whole area around me for one fifty yards radius became blanched in white as if it had been hit by some sort of high energy area effects weapon.
A local abductee suggested that they tried a time stop and attempted to lift me out of this reality but I know that I was with my Guardian Angel at all times and that I was safe.
I spoke to the guy to ask him what he was doing and he made some excuse and left, turning around to head back to the path.
Just after that the next night, there was another area effects white out near Inverkeithing but this time no alien hero was visible.
I just remember telling them whoever them was to f*** off !!
The local supermarket was a 24 hour Tesco and it was just after one of my Scottish music ceilidh dances at Dalhousie castle that I decided that being out of provisions I should go and get some basics.
It was 2am and I headed in at the end of my night shift to buy my groceries.
The mart was huge and pretty much empty of people, just a few personnel on duty and hardly anyone in shopping.
There were aisles of magazines that I had to walk through to get to dairy and my bottle of milk.
There was a strange guy, about six foot three, dark hair and fairly well dressed looking and behaving suspiciously as I approached.
Maybe he was a pervert after all they had some basic glossy magazines in this family store from which some of that kind of data could be gleaned
He turned round and he was in the middle of a mobile phone call, then he stood in front of me and pointed his mobile at me like it was a phaser from Star Trek, then there was a soft white flash and area effect, not unlike the same effect that I had seen at Inverkeithing dock.
This was not the brilliant flash of flash photography which is a brief and very bright pulse this was more pervasive, dimmer and tended to whiten everything as opposed to brighten up the inherent colours it lit on.
I was amazed, some alien had just blasted me in Tesco amongst the Mars Bars and Milky Way confections I looked around for a witness but no-one there.
They never dragged me away to some alternate reality though.
He didn't seem to pleased about that.
I had seen that white glow of light before that too when I stayed in a condominium in Leith, Edinburgh in 1996.
A tall and thin looking humanoid in of all things an evening dress
and pearls and long white evening gloves on her arms materialised in my flat.
She was some sort of grey hybrid and she asked me if I thought she looked comely. Things went white like that then but my Guardian Angel said 'No' in a commanding voice and she just disappeared.
She had alleged that she was from some sort of Royal Court, but if my Guardian Angel says No, then its No definitely.
I guess though that they don't stop trying.
Part of my exercise routine apart from my new diet was to occasionally
walk into Edinburgh and back to Fife.
It was possible maybe once a week or fortnight for me to do that without tiring myself too much with my other activities.
There was something about that walk that really irritated me though and that was those car headlights that used very bright halogen headlamps.
These tended to hurt my eyes for some reason.
I decided to try an experiment just for the fun of it and one evening went out equipped with a pair of Polaroid sunglasses.
The results when used went much as expected everything seemed very dark indeed those halogen headlights had been finally mastered by the polarising properties of my shades which could screen out the frequencies of the sun.
Next up a car went by and my eyes got white flashed through the polaroids that somehow the greys had got the frequency of my nervous system and had fired some white stuff at me.
As I could still see the car that was doing that and the other cars that it was driving amongst I felt safe enough to recognise that I was safe.
For some reason or other some sort of interstellar assailants were out to get me.
Shortly after that enroute to some afternoon shopping in Dunfermline, I saw or rather half saw two small ghostly humanoid aliens in silver suits about four and a half feet tall with some sort of sci-fi cannon on a tripod.
The gun looked about three or four feet long and the tripod put it at about three feet.
I was just thinking that maybe some little old lady that stayed in that Bungalow would be objecting to these intruders trampling their kit all over her border flowers.
The garden was raised above the wall such that the barrel of the cannon was actually pointing down at me at head height.
I just thought that maybe I should be staying off the green cheese.
Then suddenly a bright orange jet burst forth directly at me and to my surprise and amazement it was as if I was standing in a Perspex cubicle and I could see the orange light splash harmless around the outside of my protective box.
So what was the script here I was thinking obviously I was being protected by good loving people from space invaders.
This was a war of powers and principalities, a war of light against dark.
I had been contracted to supply Scottish fiddle music to a famous society dance band in Edinburgh and I was to form part of a four piece line up that included drums, and two accordions.
These guys were excellent and it was a prestigious event at an excellent venue in central Edinburgh.
As is my custom, I arrived well dressed, early and prepared and somewhat close to the central hotel was St Andrew square where I could waste a few minutes before the gig looking at the flowers in the garden and taking a seat in the summers early evening.
I strolled along the pavement with my fiddle case and my flight case with my kit in it and saw two three seat benches side by side.
There were rows of parked cars and SUV's.
On one bench there were three small women, two of them were older in their late fifties, one in her forties.
I intended to sit down on the vacant bench.
As I walked past a Range Rover that had some sort of Army sticker in the window to do with a naval academy its horn went off.
It was an unbearably loud horn, a very very intense horn, a very painful prolonged rupturing horn.
The three ladies on the bench sat there unmoving and unreacting and made no attempt to cover their ears.
I was at a disadvantage because my hands were full.
My head swam as I went off to play my music, and I set up my kit as usual, having introduced myself to the team.
We set up the public address system and got settled in.
The moment that I started to play my violin though I was in complete agony.
I could not bear to play my violin for six months after that.
My life and my eardrums were in total tatters.
I had to cancel engagements.
I still had no idea what drew me to that specific locality though .. it seemed an inhuman co-incidence that I ended up there amongst these evil muppets but because the forces of Christ love me so much, my ears made a total recovery and I have never been bothered by tinnitus as a result of my encounter with aliens impersonating human authorities.
Superhuman problems in my life are overcome by superhuman solutions.
I didn't get any more of that kind of nonsense that I could see or hear from those little monsters after that but I'm absolutely certain that they do keep trying.