man of carbon - chancellor brown

The Man of Carbon.


He's finally coming – clean mean and green Chancellor Brown, the PM in waiting for the disunited Kingdom.

With Tony hanging around to take as much blame as possible, the coming of Gogs or Gordon will be a squeaky clean if sombre event.

How to follow an act like Tony has already been discussed … as Gogs has outlined his plan for a new era of Green taxes to save the planet and line the pockets of the super rich.


Cue the television programmes focussing on peer groups from various villages in the English heartlands. Concerned carbon producers get a Gestapo style lambasting about their carbon rich lifestyle …


Adverts on TV prepare the way … carbon laden and waste bins laden with carbon, tropical carbon, carbon miles, evil carbon and suddenly in a country where a paediatric surgeon is driven out of her home for being a pedophile … we have the possibility of Italian restaurants being torched for serving up spaghetti carbonarra.


Evil carbon users – new term 'carbonites' are everywhere – they drive cars, they buy bananas laden with carbon footprints from the far away tropics – they have central heating and refuse to wear three layers of woollens like everybody else – and some of them can even afford to pay their evil fuel bills.

Some evil people even use aircraft too.


Meanwhile it becomes a criminal offence to publish the astronomical data that the entire solar system is warming up whilst 'green scientists' with PHD's in evil carbon ethics give advice to a whole new era of anti-Carbon Youth.

These new Youth patrols will harness the energy of the next and probably last generation to administer payback to carbophiles.


New carbon counsellors are probably planned to ensure that those suffering from the certifiable mental health deficiency of carbophile get the medication and guidance they need as they do their shopping.

New AntiSocial Carbon Orders are of course a tagging offence as these evil people represent the very worst of the planet killers amongst us.


Those with bananas and pineapples in their shopping baskets get a basic but hefty spot fine – but those with more than two tropical fruits get a public beating with a carbonised rubber baton.


To be socially reclassified as a carbonite and to have the disease of carbonism is to create the need to be socially recycled either as a road or factory worker or deemed to be in need of carbon penance.

The carbon penance programme requires the carbonite to work in alternative energy compost heaps, harvesting and reusing natural methane.

Has it got carbon in it ? becomes the new watchwords of the 21st century as the new era of chancellor gorkon brown, man of carbon finally sticks it to the last of the people with any residual education who may have some money and or household goods and property that he can recycle for his corporate sponsors.




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